The Velawesomeraptor Himself (clayrobeson) wrote,
The Velawesomeraptor Himself
clayrobeson

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Viva Las Vegas...

I'm so fucking tired it's not even funny. I just infused myself with poison from the dreaded Starbucks, so hopefully I'll remain coherent enough to finish this update... it may be long, so I'm going to put in a cut to spare folks who aren't interested in the decadence and debauchery of Hell on Earth as defined by Stephen King and Mr_Sarcasm.


Okay, so here's the full poop:

When we landed in Vegas on Wednesday, I was overwhelmed with a sense of Whitetrashdom as we drove through this oasis of neon and hookers in the middle of the Nevada desert. Even the fucking airport had slot machines. I'm sure there were hookers there, too, but I was so motion sick from the landing (30 mph crosswinds) that I wasn't really looking.

Caesar's Palace is one fucking amazing hotel. Gaudy beyond belief in a way that makes you think that Vomitoriums and Orgies could have been a shitload of fun. My room had a bathroom that was almost as big as the kitchen at Casa de Sangria (my house, for the uneducated). There was a double person Jacuzzi tub, marble floors, two sinks mirrors everywhere, bigass glassed in shower, and the potty was in a little room all to itself. The view wasn't all that spectacular, or so I thought. Just the side of the Mirage, and I could see a LITTLE of the strip between Treasure Island and the Forum tower of Caesar's.

I checked in for the conference, and was physically mauled by several people who I hadn't seen since LAST year's convention in Scottsdale, AZ. Some of the people I didn't even think knew my name, but damned if there weren't several shouts of "CLAY!" followed by someone tackling me with a bearhug. Made me feel pretty good. :)

Wednesday night my Sales Rep Tony threw me into a gold limo, and we trekked over to The Luxor to see Blue Man Group. Same show I saw in Boston, but damn, it was still good. LOVE them. Bed early, thanks to the dreaded Jet Lag.

Thursday, it was up early, classes all day, then dinner in the Garden of the Gods complete with belly dancers. They made us all wear togas, so everyone stripped their bed sheets and pinned themselves up a toga. Funfunfun! After dinner, the toga returned to the bed, and clothed as a normal human, I got drunk at Cleopatra's Barge (see my previous entry for the results of THAT).

Friday was more classes in the morning, and the arrival of ms_entropy in the afternoon. WHEEE! Got her settled in, and the two of us went exploring a bit, then traipsed off to see O. My god, what a fucking amazing show. Take two parts American McGee's Alice, one part Shakespeare, one part horse diving off a platform into a tub of water, and one part 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT' and shake it all up. The show is fantabulous, and I highly recommend it, even at the $120 ticket price.

Saturday we were up early and went exploring ALL the other hotels/casinos in Vegas. Brunch at Bellagio, followed by visits to The Luxor (a pyramid shaped hotel, SO cool!), The Monte Carlo (they have their own brew-pub), New York, New York (there's a roller coaster that goes around the whole place, and an AWESOME tribute to NYFD), Aladdin (Morocco, but air conditioned), Paris (we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and our gay waiter made eyes at me), The MGM Grand (live Tigers in there!!!) and finally back to our hotel just in time to get changed for Julie and Jeff's wedding (yes, we got to go to a wedding in Vegas!).

Post wedding, we met my friends Paul and Nancy at the Hilton for The Star Trek Experience. Lemme tell you, if you have even the SMALLEST like of Star Trek, this is totally worth the entry fee. HOLY CRAP. I stood on the bridge of the TNG Enterprise. It was a full recreation of the set, and it totally kicked ass. We ended up getting drunk afterwards on a fucking huge drink called a Warp Core Breach. And for dinner, I had The Wrap of Khan. It was so cheesy you couldn't help but piss yourself laughing. The entire time we just kept extolling what huge geeks we are.

Sunday morning saw us sleeping late and calling room service for breakfast. Mmmmm... Showers, packing and checkout, followed by a final trip to the blackjack tables.

Go me. Sat down at a $25 minimum blackjack table. Got $50 worth of chips. First hand? Blackjack. SCORE! At one point, I was dealt a pair of nines. I split them. Got ANOTHER nine. Split them again. So I had three hands at $25 each sitting on table. Won all three. GO ME!

I walked away with $150 thanks to my amazing self control. That pretty much made be break even for the weekend, which was cool. At one point, I'm sure I had over $300 sitting in front of me. Goodtime fun, and the dealers at Caesars are AWESOME.

Long flight home, but getting to fly with ms_entropy was fun. She doesn't fly much, so it was exciting for her, and the excitement was contagious. She was afraid that I'd get sick of her by the end of the weekend. ::insert eye roll here:: I don't know how many times I have to tell her that she's wicked fun to hang out with, and if I'd not known that before, this weekend cemented the opinion in my mind. Other than her pouring cold water in my lap on the plane (it was an accident... riiiiiiiight), she was a blast to hang out with, even when we were both tired, hungry and grumpy.

Home by 1:15 AM this morning. Ug tired.

me
That is all.
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