Me: Good Afternoon, this is [Restaurant Name], how can I help you?
Guy: I'd like to speak to a manager if possible.
Me: You're in luck. Today I am the manager. What can I do for you?
Guy: Well, I was in for dinner last night and... well... it was a rather unpleasant experience and I just wanted to let someone know.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, what exactly was the problem?
Guy: I mean, if you're interested in feedback, of course.
Me: Most certainly, I'll pass your comments directly to the Chef and General Manager.
Guy: Well, I started with the carpaccio, and it was... kind of mushy. I'm used to it being smaller, so it can be shared more easily.
Me: That's unfortunate. We've always served our carpaccio in the larger serving like that, but if you want, you can order it flat. That way the kitchen doesn't wrap the beef around the filling, and that might make it easier to share.
Guy: Well, the flavor... it was just rather unpleasant.
Me: I'll make sure to let the chef know, so he can look into it. Some people do have problems with the truffle oil.
Guy: And the halibut. I had to send it back twice, and it was still just not good.
Guy: Yeah, the blackened halibut.
Me: You mean the Mahi-Mahi? That was the fish special last night.
Guy: NO! The blackened halibut from the menu.
Me: Sir, I'm pretty sure we don't sell blackened halibut.
Guy: Why don't you open a menu and LOOK, then! It's right there on the left side of the menu.
Me: Sir, I've been here for four years, and there is no blackened halibut on our menu.
Guy: Is this [Restaurant with similar name] in Campbell?
Me: No sir, this is [Restaurant name] in downtown San Jose.
Guy: But this is the number listed on [City Search Website].
Me: It is? Could you give me the name of the site so I can have that corrected.
Guy: Oh, wait... no, I just clicked through and... it was all jumbled together in the search results.
Me: Ahh, well, I'm sorry you had an unpleasant dining experience at [Restaurant with similar name].
Didn't even say sorry for being a dick to me.