January 14th, 2002

compton

Dear Employee,

Costs of healthcare are going up, so we're going to fuck you in the process. Your healthcare contribution that comes out of your bi-weekly paycheck is going from $11.75 to $19. Now don't despair, because there are some benefits that go along with this. We're allowing your co-pay to go from $5 to $15 per visit, and you now have a $250 deductible on hospital visits! We're also letting you pay for your own long term disability insurance so JUST INCASE you go out on long term disability, you won't have to pay taxes on that income. And finally, you'll get a prescription card now, so you don't have to submit prescriptions for reimbursement anymore. And we're giving you to the end of January to decide if you want to do this, or find your own insurance.

BIG FUCKING DEAL! YOU THEIVING BASTARDS!! DIE DIE DIE!!!

Oh, and I find myself offended at this statement: We simply cannot continue to absorb such increases without making changes that we feel will encourage employees to use our benefits responsibly and also help share the costs with us.

God, do I fucking hate those people who go out and have irresponsible apendectomies and such.

Dickheads.

me
Anyone know an insurance agent?
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compton

Butter-cream Icing on a Dog Shit Cake...

If you read my last two posts, you know how my day has been going. They're raising my insurance rates so that I can pay for the women's contraceptives and get a prescription card. No offense to the women out there, but it seems that I'm getting the short end of the stick here. My rates are going up and I'm really getting no visible benefit from it.

Then my car is fucked. They're going to have to replace the entire driver's side fender and support strut to fix the problem with the door. $500 to $600 dollars. What. The. Mother. Fuck. And of course I could keep climbing in and out the passenger door like I've been, but the inspection is up at the end of the month, so technically I can't drive it after January 31st. And even if I *COULD* afford to get it fixed, they have a month and a half waiting list at the auto body shop. That still puts us at the end of February. Can we say "FAHK!" I knew we could.

So I sit down at rehearsal with my nice warm pizza and my cell phone rings.

"Hello?" says I.

"Is Clay R.... there?" says they.

Oh fuck, how did the creditors get my cell phone number? "Yes, this is Clay," says I. STUPID! Why did you SAY that?

"Yes, Vorizon wants to see you tomorrow at 10AM for an audition, can you make it?" says they.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... "Sure!" says I.

"It would pay $500 plus residuals, as your agency we would get 20% of everything as our fee," says they.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... "Sure!" says I.

"Okay, be there tomorrow at 10, and call us if you get it." says they.

So I can't even have a bad day right. My stomach is doing somersaults because it doesn't know if it should be angry or ecstatic.

So send me good Karma tomorrow at 10 AM Eastern time. Maybe I'll get to be in a commercial...

me
This is Bell Atlantic...





Addendum: How do they DO that?

Monday's horoscope from http://stars.metawire.com

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20)

Crazy things keep happening around you now. As a Piscean you are familiar with the world of surrealistic experience. There are moments when your life resembles a sketch from the Monty Python show - only without the jokes. Against this background I use the word 'crazy' advisedly for I know you are able to treat as normal, situations that most other people would be inclined to call 'bizarre'. Bonkers though your week is due to be though, you ought to know this. What's happening is right and good even if it is also ridiculous.

And the weekly:

Do you believe in magic? By the time this week is over, even the most cynical Piscean will feel inclined to answer that question with a yes. Prepare please, to be swept off your feet by a whirlwind of excitement and opportunity. Prepare too, to wind up feeling a little confused - but also, extremely inspired. Whilst it may not be immediately clear which way you should respond to the chances that are now arising, it will become obvious that there are, indeed, chances - and not problems, presenting themselves. There's something crazy going on in your world right now. It makes little sense but it represents nothing to fear. Adapt in a positive spirit and you'll soon see nothing but hope ahead.
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