April 14th, 2002


I broke the toilet... but I say it was in self defense...

(Sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff)

Picture a man, in his bathroom, running his fingers through hair that is about to be buffeted by the wind in his new convertible. Picture that man a total clutz, turning to go and knocking a glass bottle of cologne (Dolce and Gabanna, purchased in Amsterdam) off the counter. In slow motion, the bottle falls downward. Thoughts race through the man's mind of how bad the house is going to smell when the bottle collides with the edge of the toilet (yes, he left the seat up) and shatters. But then, in some wild twist of fate, the bottle survives the impact and clatters to the floor, along with a nice chunk of the side of the toilet bowl.

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