So if you're a long time reader you know I submitted a screenplay to competition in May, got feedback on it, and was generally happy.
Monday, I was talking with a friend (Brian) and we were catching up. I mentioned the screenplay, and how I was thinking about resubmitting it to another competition. He asked to read it, so I shared. He asked if I wanted feedback, and I said of course. He gave me some WONDERFUL commentary, and was really blunt about it, which is what I REALLY needed. Dont' get me wrong, the folks who edited for me the first round gave me some AWESOME feedback, but Brian is a writer, and just laid it all on the line:
"The whole time, the main character is subjected to stuff, but he never gets to make any choices, or fight any inner battles, or anything. Like, shit happens to him, and he can't control it, and then in the end you learn that it was all pointless anyway"
He totally voiced the nagging feeling I had in why I didn't like the ending, and once it was stated, a SLEW of ideas came pouring in on how to fix the situation.
So last night I sat down as started editing. I hadn't picked the thing up since May 1st, and when I was reading it over, there were parts that I'd forgotten I wrote, and I was honestly impressed with what I'd done. At points it even made me laugh outloud.
So now begins the deconstruction and reconstruction of the third act. Fun fun fun!
"Dude, your dialogue rules. George Lucas could take some hints from you."
This year, it's Fuck With Daddy style Father's Day. I got him seven cards, and am going to mail one a day starting tomorrow. On the back of each card, is a note:
1) Do not open until Father's Day
2) I *SAID* do not open until Father's Day
3) You better not be opening this until Father's Day!
4) Do not open until Father's Day (this is killing you, isn't it?)
5) OOH! A Blue Envelope! (You still can't open it until Father's Day)
6) Do not open until Father's Day (Mom, is he cursing my name yet?)
7) Do not open until Father's Day (And when you do, open them in order)
So each card gets progressively sappier, ending with a card of a father and son working on a car that looks a lot like a Miata.
He'll be bawling for a week. Guaranteed. :)
Well, we did it... there were only about a dozen people in the Audience, but there were some points where we had them genuinely laughing. It was a lot of fun, and I'm really impressed with the people I'm working with.
I have a dream... a dream that these french fries will walk again...