August 23rd, 2002


Why Drunk Presidents Should Never Be Allowed to Make Speeches

(no, this isn't a political rant)

Last night was our annual Audit Party. A celebratory dinner for the completion of the 73 some odd audits we have to do every year for each of our properties. Granted, we finished in APRIL, but we just didn't get around to celebrating till last night.

So we all packed up after work and went to The Capitol Grille. Forty-five minutes of cocktails before the appetizers came out. Then phenomenal wine, and phenomenal steaks.

Then Bob, the President stands up to make a speech.

"First of all, I want to thank me for making this possible."

Laughter. He is a funny guy.

The speech went on, and then he started talking about folks who would be leaving. June, our legal counsel is moving on, we all knew this. He praised her up and down (even though she wasn't there).

Then he said something about Jim. Jim is the VP of Finance and Controller.

It was at this point that Mel whispered, "Bob, no one knows about that yet."

Then all hell broke loose.

Oh my god, it was a sight to behold. There were very few of us who knew what was happening, and we were under the strictest of orders from the Corporate Controller not to say anything. Even Jim wasn't allowed to talk about it.

People fucking flipped. Brenda was in Tears, Sheila just got up and left. Jim made a rather awkward speech, being totally unprepared, it was... awkward to say the least.

It was sort of like Bob took the mood of the evening, held it between his legs and just took a big dump on it.

Half the company didn't even stay for desert. Jim was REALLY upset, because there were people who he wanted to tell personally since they'd worked together for YEARS AND YEARS.

All I could do was laugh to myself. Not out of spite or anything, but if I didn't laugh I would have gotten depressed at everyone's sudden shift in mood.

Ahhh, classic corporate screwup.

"You're funny, Klae, make everyone laugh."
"I don't think anyone can top your comic timing tonight, Bob."
  • Current Mood
    morbidly amused

Definitely a limited edition...

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User Number: 348140
Date Created:2001-09-17
Number of Posts: 699

Many a descriptive term has been used for Klae. We won't get into that here because many of them are profane. He can, however, go from 0 to 60 in half a cup of Starbucks.
Strengths: Dead Sexy, Funny, Quick Witted, Sarcastic, Bitchin' Car, Can Tie Cherry Stems into Knots with Tongue
Weaknesses: Self confidence? What self confidence? Can't take his own advice for shit.
Special Skills: Can Tie Cherry Stems into Knots with Tongue, Psychic, Can Tie Cherry Stems into Knots with Tongue, Teaches Improv, Can Tie Cherry Stems into Knots with Tongue
Weapons: Tongue, Wit, Size 13 Feet

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