October 17th, 2006


Day of the Dumb

Wow, what a day...

After last night's declaration of creative intent, I did just as I said.  I wrote till about 3AM, fell asleep, woke back up with more ideas at 5:30, wrote until 8, fell asleep again, was woken up by the phone at 9 (it was for me), slept till 10:30, then got up and went to work.

Damn I'm tired.

Everyone at work was dealing with people who were just... not smart.  It went on all day.  And it started getting kinda creepy.  It was like there was an IQ threshold to call our phone line.  "Maximum IQ Clearance: 32"  Being tired on top of all that... crimeny.

The lovely and horny effervescent bripadme joined me for post work dinner at the restaurant, and then we adjourned to go see Man of the Year.  Not the movie I expected, but it was really good.  I love Lewis Black.  Christopher Walkin still scares me.

We parked in one of the garages near the theater where it's free after six.  So when we were done, we got back in bripadme's car, drove to the little exit gateway, put our ticket in, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Then we started hitting buttons.


The phone was out of service, so we called the number on the sign that said "The phone is out of service, call this number if you have problems," and got the answering machine.  So I got out of the car and went over to the ENTRY pagoda and tried to use that phone.  No answer.

By this point, I noticed the truck parked in the "5 minute parking only" spot.  The guys walking back to it were what alerted me.  They, too, were a victim of the "Gate too stupid to open" syndrome.  So I called the San Jose Police.

"Hi!  We're stuck in this parking garage and can't get our vehicles out.  We don't want to damage the property here, so we'd love it if you could come tell us what we should do."

At this point, an officer happened to drive by, and we tried waving him down.  He waved back and kept driving.  DOH!

But he quickly realized his mistake, flipped on his lights, and backed himself up to where we were.  We explained the situation, he got out.  Tried everything we tried (by this time two other police cars had arrived) and basically said, "No freakin clue, man."

Just as we were about to jack his police car and park it on the entry trigger to get new entry tickets (the exit on the OTHER side of the building was letting people out), the maintenance truck came driving down the exit ramp.  So the little man with the broom used his magic key to let us all out.  Holy crap.

At the stoplight at Third and Santa Clara, one of the three police cars was stopped, so I rolled down my window and thanked the officer in the car for coming and assisting us in our plight.  As the window rolled down there was this strong wind/sucking sound.  I thought it was just the window and air, but no, it was bripadme's IQ dropping 60 points as she gazed at the "OH MY GOD SO HOT COP IN UNIFORM!"  I swore we were going to get pulled over for drunk driving, because she totally lost all control of her faculties.  Thank goodness for her that she's headed home to her husband on Friday. :)

So now I'm home.

Oh, yeah, I have an audition tomorrow that just got re-re-scheduled for noon.  Send me loving thoughts right about then.


UPS = Unbelievably Poor Synapses

Two packages sit on a UPS Truck.

Package one is addressed to:

Klae Klae'slastname
3394 Klae'sstreet
Klae's City, CA Zip+4

(Address altered to protect my shit)

The second package is addressed to:

Klae Klae'slastname
3393 Klae'sstreet
Klae's City, CA Zip+4

One of the packages had the address right, one of them had the address one digit off.

The correct package was delivered at 2:14PM today.  The incorrect package was marked "Undeliverable Address" at 2:16PM.

Is it really that hard?


#76: Today I Was A Rock Star...

It's really hard to get up in the morning when you're up all night creating.  But I did.

Dressed all nice (as instructed), put on the spray-on hair* and drove up to the city.  Had a little trouble finding parking (go figure), but got to the casting office without much trouble at all.  It's not the usual casting office I go to in the city, so it was a new space for me.  Walked into the Foyer and filled out the paper work, signed in, and made my way down the hall towards the big room.  I was greeted by Nancy, the actual casting agent herself, and she had me take a seat at one of the tables in the waiting area, where I chatted with another nice lady who was waiting.

Took about 10 minutes till I went in (other lady went first) and the casting assistant (young guy with a British accent) set the space and camera up and gave me some quick directions.  I rehearsed twice, shot once, and I was out.  Nancy called out "Nice job!" from upstairs where she was watching the video feed as I departed.

I don't think I'll get it.  The part was written for a brother, so I'm a little too pale (although I must say that I did some seriously awesome Al Green style tree humping).  But I could still get an extra spot in the background.  Who knows.  I had fun, though, and now I'm registered with another casting agent.  That makes two in SF and one in SJ.  WOO!

So I wandered back to the car and called Shaun.  For those unfamiliar with Shaun, she's the awesomz.  She was in the Perfect Proposal gig with me two years ago (for those unfamiliar with that, it was my national cable TV debut).  She runs the SF Improv Festival. She got me the voice over gig.  She's producing my Improv show up in the city.  And she's a genuinely good person.

So anyway... I called Shaun to see if she was hungry, which she was, so I headed over to her place.  The plan was to go to our usual Thai joint near her house, but we decided that since we were both dressed up, we should go somewhere fancy.

So we went to the Cliff House and had lunch at Sutro's.  We didn't have reservations, but it was right about that time when you're between the second and last rush of lunch eaters, so we were able to get a table.  A good table, actually.  If you follow the Sutro's link, we sat at the table directly below the absolute center of the first picture along the far set of windows.  The food was fantastic (and stupid expensive) and we had a great time.  But as all our conversations go, we started off with what had happened since we'd seen each other last (Shaun got to meet the mayor of SF), and then, per usual, we started talking business.

Now, I didn't realize that when we talk business we actually sound like we're talking Business.  Note the capital B.  As in Show Business.  Cause there we were gabbing away about taking over theater spaces, hiring actors, having auditions, publicity, rehearsal schedules and SAG when the woman at the next table politely interrupted us. 

"I'm a nurse, and I used to work at San Quentin.  I've written a play.  Two plays actually.  Comedies about my time there."

Shaun and I looked at each other.  Then we both realized that we were two very well dressed people sitting in a great seat in an expensive restaurant talking about producing comedy.  And someone overheard us and thought we were important.  Not that we're not important.  We're just not THAT important.  Yet.

Talk about an ego boost.  We chatted with the lady for a while, ate, went back to our conversations (with her chiming in now and then-- she was eating alone except for her Chihuahua-Fox Terrier mix in her lap bag), and processed  everything we'd scheduled to process regarding our various projects together (which means I can write that motherfucking lunch off).

I'm going to be renting some space from Shaun in the next few weeks for shooting the video for Britney Back.  My manic episode from Saturday/Sunday was pretty much entirely dedicated to coming up with a treatment for the video.  I can see it in my head now.  It's mostly cast (pending a yes reply from walid_muffin).  Both locations have been secured.  And I've even got a bead on a bear skin rug thanks to kellyangel.

We also discussed B-Movie Night.  We've pushed it back to March because Shaun has been given a HEYOUGE project for Black History Month, and I've got another project in the works (tentatively titled Super Sekrit Project) which you'll hear about more in the next couple months.  While I'm sad it's farther away, this is actually a big weight off my shoulders, cause I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to do Super Sekrit Project and B-Movie Night simultaneously while working so I can pay bills, too.  Plus, there may be a hitch with location, but that should be easy to resolve.

So we finished our conversation, had desert, talked with the nice lady and her dog some more, then adjourned and walked back to the car.

Someone was bending over near my car.

I walked a little faster, and saw a woman who was crouched behind my car stand up and walk around to the front, where she bent, and took a picture. I called out "I know it's dirty, but come on!"  She looked up, startled, and laughed.  So did her friend, whose car was stopped on the other side of the parking spaces. "We love your license plates," said one.  "I wanted a picture of it for my husband," said the other.  Then she proceeded to take a picture of me and Shaun standing next to my car.

As we drove out of the parking lot I turned to look at Shaun and said, "Today, we're motherfucking rock stars."

She smiled and said, "Hell yeah, baby."

motherfucking rock star

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