May 25th, 2007


When Dinner Fights Back

Yanked from centerfire

"A family of water buffalo is meandering around the shore of a pond towards a pride of lions. They don't realize the lions are there until they're almost on top of them; the water buffalo bolt, the lions give chase, and pretty easily chase down a water buffalo calf who takes a wrong turn at Albequerque. The lions wrestle the calf down into the shallows near the shore of the pond. Mealtime, right?

Well, no. A crocodile shows up and tries to wrestle the calf away from them. The tug-of-war goes on for a little while, but the croc doesn't want to come out of the water and can't get a good grip on the calf; the lions eventually manage to drag the carcass back from the waterline, and the croc loses interest and disappears. So, mealtime now, right?

You'd think. But then every water buffalo in the entire world shows up to beat the everliving shit out of the lions. One of the water buffalo catches a lioness -- probably around a 500-pound critter -- on his horns and flings her. And the calf, who until this point you think is a corpse, gets back up and rejoins the herd. The lions try to hunker down and make like rocks, but the water buffalo are having none of it -- they start chasing the lions off.

Tough day to be a lion, I guess."