Said couch was up against the big non-sliding portion of a ginormous sliding glass door, which was draped in deep maroon curtains that hung to just brush the sandy carpet beneath.
The couch slid easily from it's usual resting place, and our heroe started to step behind it to commence with the cleaning. His barefooted toes were squinching happily in the carpet when his mahogany brown eyes spotted a blemish on the perfect maroon drapery.
It was a black splotch in the shape of a spider... a spider with a red hourglass on its underside. It's abdomen was no bigger than the tip of his pinky finger, but it's legs increased it's body size to greater than the end of his thumb.
Must not freak out. Must not freak out. That mantra kept our heroe sane as he bolted for the garage to grab the two different insect sprays that resided there.
Our heroe returned to the drapery of death and The Evil That Resided There was still where he'd left it... so using the element of surprise, he attacked with a double fisted smite of canned insect death.
The Evil twitched and writhed, but fought valiantly against the onslaught. It fell back, but kept pulling itself back from the brink of death.
Chancing that The Evil would escape, our heroe ran to his den of repose and grabbed his Mallet of Spider Death That Was Also Good for Putting Nails in Walls to Hang Paintings.
His return to the maroon drapery was tentative. Our heroe didn't dare hope that The Evil was still there, but he had to lest he lose all faith.
The Evil remained, twitching, and attempting to pull itself from the miasma of Bug Killing Potion it was mired in.
Our Heroe brought down the Mallet of Spider Death That Was Also Good for Putting Nails in Walls to Hang Paintings in one fell swoop and felt the body of The Evil splatter beneath it.
Then he did a little jig of "Oooh! Ick! Ooooh! Ick! Ick!" and vacuumed up it's shattered corpse.