The Velawesomeraptor Himself (clayrobeson) wrote,
The Velawesomeraptor Himself
clayrobeson

Friendship and Touch and Breath


I am a lucky, lucky man. I find friends everywhere I go. But it's the ones I find in the odd places (on line games, improv workshops, live action role play adventures, international folk groups and the like) that seem to stick around forever. And that makes me happy.

It's rare that one is conscious of the moment a friendship moves from one 'level' to the next. When you go from being friends to being good friends. Or good friends to great friends. Last night I was lucky to watch a friendship slip easily from one paradigm to another, and it was nice. Especially since it was unexpected. Discovering a level of comfort and camaraderie that was more than you originally thought it was leaves a satisfying aftertaste (I'd say afterglow, but that would make it sound naughty, when it wasn't).

(insert stellar segue here)

I've always been a very tactile person. When I converse with someone, I find myself touching them at least once during the conversation. I think this hearkens back to when I was younger and was still unsure of the universe around me. Despite appearances to the contrary, I am a VERY shy, not so secure person. When I was younger, before I found myself, I was somewhat reclusive and very self conscious. I force myself out of that now. Because of my reclusiveness, I spent alot of time imagining. I've had stupendous adventures, I've flown without a plane, I fought the dragon and come out victorious. And I think that when I conversed with real people, there was always this thought in the back of my head that they, too, weren't really there, but were figments of my fantasy world. And so there was always this need for contact. This need to reach out and reassure myself that they were really there. I still find myself doing this to this day. I think it's more habit now than anything, but I can't seem to stop.

(insert another segue here)

I had forgotten how reassuring the sound of another person's breath was. Lying on the couch this morning, head near someone else's head (yay for L shaped couches with room to sprawl), we were both dozing in front of the TV. The deep rhythmic sound of sleeping breath is very comforting. I'm just sayin'.

me
Feeling good
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