The Velawesomeraptor Himself (clayrobeson) wrote,
The Velawesomeraptor Himself

  • Mood:

Make or Break...

So last night I had a google of Accountants at one table celebrating the end of tax season. There were 17 of them, all from the same company, and they were very relieved to be through The Dark Times. Within 10 minutes, I'd sold over $350 worth of wine. Before they even ordered their dinner, appetizers and drinks totaled $700. Dinner (and shots) brought the total up to almost $1400. And then came the big question:
"Sir, would you like me to pass out Desert menus?"
"Screw them. No desert."
His wife turns to me and whispers "Screw him, get the menus."
So I did. He asks, "I thought I said no desert menus."
"You did sir."
"Then why do you have them here. Did she say something?"

And this was the moment of truth. I could make or break an awesome tip here...
"She said Screw You sir."

The whole table about shit themselves laughing. He smiled at me among the shouts of "You've got BALLS!" and nodded at the Desert menus.

In the end, their check came to $1800 even. I got $100 over the 17% mandatory tip for a large table of $228. I was able to tip my bussers out $70 (20%) and I bought tequila shots for the cooks on the food line.

It was a good night. And now I have the cash to get new glasses!

Best. Waiter. Ever.

  • Just a warning...

    If my food posts make you uncomfortable, you may want to stop reading me on Monday the 2nd, because THIS is what I'll be doing at the Monk's Kettle…

  • The Sexiest "Kachunk" In the World

    So Monday of last week I took the day off and trekked down Route 1 with my friend Lisa. It's an excursion we'd been planning to take for quite a…

  • You Are Go For Launch!

    Congratulations! NASA appreciates your interest in space flight. You have completed the steps to submit your face or name to fly in space on Space…

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded