The Velawesomeraptor Himself (clayrobeson) wrote,
The Velawesomeraptor Himself

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Begone Foul Humours of Fear and Doubt!

There's an invisible fist clenched around my heart. Unless I'm actively doing something to distract myself, all I do is worry. I know I shouldn't, and I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. The dragon I'm trying to slay is a big part of myself, and the last two weeks have given it free reign to grow unchecked. Now it looms, daring me to be brave, and taunting me with thoughts of failure.

I know it would only take a step to crush it into a stain of metaphysical goo, but every time I lift my foot to do it I fear that there are holes in my shoes, or that my ankle is too exposed and that it might get in a fatal bite before I can complete the job.

I need to believe in me and what I can do. Sorrow and fear need to be left behind. It's just not that easy. Not easy at all.

Everyone is apologetic for the crap I'm going through, and I do thank you for that even though it's not your fault. But right now I need your strength more than anything else, and most certainly not pity. There's been enough of that to make me feel like a dog being hauled off to the pound for 'sleep'.

I must be strong. I will be strong. I will spread my invisible wings and do the best that I can do. That's all I can do. My best.

Damn, you'd think I was a drama queen or something...

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